Prank war
by wxreana
Summary: After leaving a planet where the children are having a different kind of war and Razer is more than happy to show Aya how it goes and drag Hal and Kilowog into the game, not to mention half the galaxy.
1. Chapter 1

"Razer, I have obtained some information from the last planet that I need help decoding" sighing the red lantern sat up in his bed, a little irritated that his sleep got interrupted.

"Couldn't it have waited till I got more sleep?" he asked rubbing his eyes as the AI unit sat down.

"I would like to know now," Aya responded simply. Razer groaned, knowing that he isn't getting anymore sleep till he helps her.

"What is the information?" a look of triumph decorated the AI's face before a look of confusion replaced it.

"It's what some of the residents call a…prank war. Children seem to really enjoy it and I wish for your help in initiating one" Razer looked shocked and slightly afraid, not knowing what the AI is capable of or what she would do in a prank war.

"I hope your asking for my assistance as a partner than as a target" he replied locating his ring, making sure it didn't have any glue or other substance in it, and putting it on.

"Yes, my data says, like a regular war, there is two sides and occasionally, thou not necessary, a third that is not loyal to either. The children often divided by gender, age or family's so I figured we would do it by age, seeing as Hal and Kilowog are similar in ages I assumed we would be partners" Aya assured her teammate that nothing has been done to him.

"Then let the prank war begin, partner" the edges of Razer's mouth went up in a sinister smile, sometimes the girls curiosity worked out in his favor.


	2. Chapter 2

"Razer, what do you call this prank?" Aya asked. Razer was putting the two green lanterns toothbrushes in cups of salt water and dumping out the fresh water in which the toothbrushes were normally placed.

"'Salty surprise'. Now, did you get the dye?"

Aya nodded, giving the red lantern the potent liquid. The latter poured it all in the green lantern's shampoo bottle.

"Why are we pranking the bathroom?" Aya inquired, not understanding the purpose of the pranks.

"We are setting up the bathroom, so that when Hal or Kilowog uses it they'll get pranked," Razer explained before switching the soaps. "I think we are done for tonight." The bathroom didn't look different to the unassuming eye. As an afterthought, Razer put plastic wrap on the toilet.

"Now what do we do?"

Razer turned to Aya with a mischievous smile.

"Now we wait. And remember, try and act clueless tomorrow. This may be a prank war, but until they say 'announced it', also known as pranking us back, we cannot raise suspicions."

Aya nodded after analyzing the information.

"Shall we head to the bridge before the others end there sleep cycles?"

In the morning…

"Gah, who put salt on my toothbrush?" Hal spat before taking Kilowog's out of the cup and using it. "Gah, Kilowog's, too?" Hal attempted to drink the water to get the salt taste out of his mouth before also spitting that out.

"Hal, can I have my toothbrush?" Kilowog asked, banging on the bathroom door.

"I don't think you want it. Someone put salt on them." Hal heard Kilowog mumble about the stupid prank before Hal got into the shower.

"Wait a second, did you use my toothbrush?" Kilowog yelled, bursting into the bathroom.

"I'm in the shower," Hal told him, trying to ignore the other green lantern in the bathroom, while he was cleaning himself

"Tell me, or I'm dropping yours in the toilet," Kilowog threatened taking the pink brush and opening the toilet lid

"Be my guest, it's covered in salt, too." Kilowog dropped the brush, but instead of a splash, it "floated" right above the bowl.

"Hal, what's wrong with the toilet?" Kilowog asked, trying to figure out how the pink toothbrush was floating.

"What do you mean, what's wrong with the toilet? Did you clog it again?" Hal growled stepping out of the shower, earning a surprised look from Kilowog

"What happened to you?" Kilowog asked, forgetting the floating toothbrush for a moment.

"I took a shower. Now what's wrong with the toilet?" Hal bent down and saw his reflection in the water. He jumped up with a girlish scream. "I look like a strawberry!"

"I heard a scream. Is there something wrong?" Aya asked as she and Razer ran to the bathroom. The latter was trying to suppress the snickers that were threatening to sound from his mouth, not wanting to give himself away.

"I'm red, and our toothbrushes have been covered in salt. And mine is floating in the toilet." Hal started waving his hands comically, which didn't help the red lanterns snickers.

"Your toothbrush is floating in the toilet?" Aya seemed confused at the last one.

"Toothbrushes are composted of a material that allows them to float in the water, correct?" Aya asked before seeing that the toothbrush was resting on the plastic wrap. "In addition, my sensors indicate that the brush is resting on some clear plastic." Both of the green lanterns slapped themselves in stupidity.

"Aya, please run a scan for any beings on the ship," Hal ordered, leaving the bathroom. The others followed.

"My scans indicate that we are the only ones on the ship." Even the AI was having a hard time keeping a straight face, especially when the guardians called for the monthly report.

"Green lantern 2814, what are your…holy mother of Aga'po!" Appa yelled, wide-eyed

"Sorry, today we seem to have a few problems with the bathroom" Hal explained to the three guardians, who were staring at him with eyes bigger than dinner plates.

"I can see that. Did your clothes also have problems?" Sayd asked, adverting her eyes. Hal looked confused before he remembered, he went directly to the bridge.

"Um, Hal? Do you want me to get your ring?" Kilowog asked, seeing Hal's face get red, or redder. Aya and Razer couldn't hold a straight face any longer.

"What? You two did this?" Hal yelled, finally putting two and two together

"I get this kind of behavior from the poozer, but you, too, Aya?"

"I wished for more data on a subject, and Razer eagerly complied," she told him before the guardians interrupted.

"I see you have a lot to talk about with your crew, but during this conference I wish you would apply some sort of covering" Ganthet reminded them, resulting in Hal running to his room for his ring. He returned a minute later to finish the call.

"Now, you two," Hal glared, after the call was terminated. He was not in the least bit amused by their actions.

"Do we need to remind you that this is a military vessel and not a party ship?" Kilowog asked, crossing his arms.

"This vessel is me, if I wish, I could turn it into a party ship" thoughts littered the boys minds but were quickly shaken out.

"Lay off the pranks," Hal ordered before asking for a new bar of soap and some non-die shampoo.

"What do we do now?" Aya asked disappointed that they were not successful in initiating a prank war

"We have three , we do as Hal commanded. Two, we prank them until they either prank us back or shoot us out the air lock. Or three, we prank ourselves," Razer listed off, smirking at the AI. Why these childish pranks made his blood run hot was beyond him.

"What do you mean prank ourselves? Wouldn't that be negative to what we are trying to do?" Aya asked turning her head to the left a little, a quirk she had obtained

"I mean do silly pranks. Like drippy, chalk eyes, or maybe one involving your language program, something simple that we can blame them for," Razer said nonchalantly.

"Shall we commence?"


	3. Chapter 3

"Hal, I thought _you_ said to lay off the pranks?" Razer growled, standing in front of the green lanterns in a male copy of a star sapphire outfit.

"We didn't do that," Hal snickered, trying to breathe normally.

"Wish we did, though. Maybe your partner in crime did it?" Kilowog suggested, also trying to breathe.

"I did not." Aya scowled. She did not speak in her normal voice, but rather in a close imitation of Carol, Hal's girlfriend. "Also, why would we trash the place?"

The two lanterns didn't seem to notice all the clothes, trash and other things littering the place. Razer went to a control pad and changed a few things, resulting in Aya's voice turning back to normal.

"Fortunately, we put inn a backup last week," Razer commented before scowling at the two green lanterns.

"But…" Hal didn't get a chance to finish, because two other people entered the multipurpose room.

_About a half an hour after Kilowog and Hal left the bridge the day before…_

"Are you sure that she will be fooled?" Aya asked, putting the finishing touches on Razer's costume.

"Trust me," Razer assured her, "Unless I really goof off, we should have no problems. Now you are positive Hal won't be here?"

Aya did the robot equivalent of rolling her eyes.

"Yes. Kilowog and he are on world seeing if anyone needs help," Aya said backing off to admire her work. Razer look exactly like Hal.

"Good. Now, hide," Aya ducked under a table before Razer activated the telecomm.

"Hal Jordan, to what do we owe this call?" Queen Aga'po asked suspiciously.

"Well… I was hoping, y'know, either you or Ghia'ta-or both-could visit. I feel Aya could use some female companionship…" Razer said putting on a flawless 'nervous Hal' show.

"What has brought this on?" she asked, now even more suspicious.

"She wants to know about feelings, behavior, and… other things of that nature, so I figured the Star Sapphires would be perfect," Razer said, giving her the cocky grin that he had seen Hal use many times.

"And why couldn't one of you green lanterns explain it to her?" Aga'po asked, crossing her arms.

"Because, as I'm sure you know, when the topic of girls is put into play, the safest response for we males is 'yes dear, whatever you say dear, that doesn't make you look fat'," Aga'po growled, not amused by the things Razer said.

"We will come, so you men won't contaminate her mind with stupidity," Aga'po said before ending the call.

"That was impressive, Razer. I didn't know you were so good at impressions." Aya smiled, helping him out of the costume.

"It's a gift, especially when a prank war is involved. Now let's get on with the other parts."

Aya nodded, following the red lantern out of the bridge

"I do have one question. What purpose does the star sapphires serve being on the ship?"

"All will be revealed in due time," Razer said.

Now

"Well, this is… curious," Ghia'ta commented upon seeing the state of the ship.

"Hal, are you serious?" Razer scowled before running out of the room to change.

"Out, we need to do some serious work," Aga'po growled before sending both guys, and Razer when he was finished changing, out of the Interceptor and off to a nearby planet.

"What brings you two here?" Aya asked, pretending to be clueless.

"Hal called us yesterday, and I'm sorry we weren't here sooner," Aga'po apologized before using her ring to clean up.

"Would you two like refreshment?" Aya asked, opening the fridge, which resulted in activating a pie trap slapping her straight in the face. "Can you bring Razer back for a moment?"

"Oh my, are you okay, sister?" Ghia'ta admittedly went to the young AI to attempt to clean the pie off, but it was apparently some Bolovax Vik recipe that was very hard to clean.

"I would appreciate it if you could bring Razer here, now." Despite the calm evenness of her tone, Aya sounded a little peeved by the time Razer was returned to the ship.

"What's wrong, Aya?" Razer asked seeing the star sapphires trying, and failing, to get the pie off her face "I'm guessing you want to plan?"

"Yes." Aya said sharply. if the pie bit was part of their scam then Aya should win a Grammy but neither the prank novice nor the prank general had any clue the fridge was bobby trapped

"Alright, I suggest we get some wrapping paper," Razer turned to the confused Star Sapphires, "Earth vinegar often works good in getting off Bolovax Vik food."

"How do you know this?" Aya asked suspiciously.

"Do you remember how, for an entire week, I smelled, according to Hal, like potato chips?" Aya nodded before following Razer in pursuit of where they hid the wrapping paper

"What in the name of Grodd is going on? Is there something we should know about?" the Star Sapphires questioned. Aya and Razer looked at each other in silence for a moment before Razer spoke.

"Yesterday, Aya told me she was bored and I suggested a prank war. I believe what you saw was their retaliation after we pranked them."

Aga'po still wasn't convinced that what they were doing was a good thing.

"Maybe they can join our side?" Aya spoke lowly to Razer as the two were still under the queen's harsh gaze.

"The teams have to be equal," Razer said back.

"What would happen if we told the others of your plan?"

"Then it would be ruined," Razer growled, as Aya looked to them with hopeful eyes. The two Star Sapphires looked at each other for a moment, and then at the two pranksters.

"We will not tell, so long as you do something for us." Ghia'ta smiled, creeping Razer out a little.

"What do you want?" Razer asked.

"That will be disclosed at a later date."

Aya agreed and prodded Razer to do so, so they can continue wrapping the bedrooms and putting a special surprise in Kilowog's before the sapphire's transported them back.

"Finally, the queen was just about to…uh" Hal faltered looking straight at Aya

"Was your trip not pleasant?" Aya prodded with confusion

"No, especially the fact that we landed right in the middle of their dinner," Kilowog replied getting some noodles out of his ear

"Aren't you used to eating like a pig?" Razer snapped, a little peeved at the pie joke.

"Shut it, poozer. I'm not in the mood for a fight" the two green lanterns sulked into their rooms, only to find them redecorated. In addition, Kilowog's bed was covered in food.

"THIS IS WAR."


	4. Chapter 4

"No offense, Hal, but this is stupid," Kilowog complained, doing his best to suspend Aya's right foot and Razer's ring in the jello.

"I don't hear you having any ideas," Hal shot back trying to glue some coins to the floor, only resulting in coins being glued to his fingers because _someone_ poked holes in the glue bottle.

"Still, gluing coins to the floor and putting their things in jello?" Kilowog shook his head at the mediocre pranks. After a few hours, they both abandon their pranks so they could get some sleep, not knowing that the masterminds were waiting for them to leave.

"Get their rings, I'll start here," Razer snickered, taking there things out of the jello and setting up the fridge with fake spiders, snakes and other fake critters. Soon Aya came back with the rings and pictures of the lantern's sweetheart's.

"Can we do something with these?" Aya asked, expertly suspending the rings in the jello and passing her partner the photos.

"That depends. How many pictures of females do you have?"

A stack of pictures fell down on the table. Razer picked the most ugly and scantily clad ones to put in the frames while he and Aya taped the rest in random places on the ship. As a second thought, Aya slipped notes in Ghia'ta's and Aga'po's room, telling them not to open the fridge.

_In the morning_

"Morning, you two," Kilowog greeted, yawning. He still wasn't awake enough to tell the ring he was wearing was a paperclip and paper and that he was wearing red lantern boxers.

"Good morning, sergeant Kilowog. How are you?" Aya greeted.

"I'm good, you?"

When Aya answered, the Star Sapphires walked in.

"Good morning, Kilowog. Can you please pass me a refreshment?" Aga'po asked, sitting down.

"Sure," Kilowog said.

After a moment, a girlish scream rang through the Interceptor, resulting in Hal running in, also in red lantern boxers, holding his hand up like he was going to blast something with his equally fake ring.

"What's wrong?" Hal asked, ignoring the snickers and giggles from the rest of the crew.

"WHAT'S WRONG? I JUST GOT ATTACKED BY PLASTIC CREPPY CRAWLIES!" Kilowog yelled. they were sure that the guardians heard them.

"If I may interrupt, where did you even get those boxers?" Ghia'ta chuckled as Aya and Razer high fived.

"Okay, what did you do?" Hal growled. In response, Aya walked calmly to the fridge and took out the 'solid' jello that held the rings.

"Bon appetite," Razer teased, leaving for the bridge with Aya hot on his heels.

"I see why kids love this," he said.

"Yes. This seems to be entertaining, so long as both parties know their limits, or go too far." Aya cocked her head a little.

"How far is too far?" Razer was silent for a while.

"It is difficult to determine the difference between a normal joke and one that's been taken too far, but if they start to be particularly malicious, we should stop." Aya nodded waiting for the others to join them.

"You do know they're going to get you back for that," Ghia'ta announced, walking on the bridge.

"The jello thing was them getting back at us, we turned the tides on them," Razer responded.

"So, what do you have planned next?"

"We are first seeing what their reproach will be before we counter with another."

An angry Kilowog and green Hal walked into the bridge holding a half-eaten jello block that was courteously dumped in Razer's lap

"Get our rings out, poozer."

In response Razer pulled the two strings Aya used to suspend the rings in the jello and showed it to them.

"Thank you, now you two jokers need to do sweep of this planet," Hal scolded, landing on a deserted planet and practically kicking the two off of the Interceptor.

"What do you think they're going to do?" Razer asked when they moved pretty far away from the Interceptor.

"My internal surveillance indicates that it has something to do with googly eyes, glue, and something called fake eyelashes," Aya listed off, "Should I stop them?"

"No, let them put one on us, tonight we are going to use glitter and a lot of it."

Aya nodded as they continued their leisurely walk.

_Back at the Interceptor_

"Hal, switch jobs with me, it's hard to put fake eyelashes on."

Hal snickered when Kilowog complained.

"You're supposed to put it on the robot eye, not yourself," Hal teased. The Star Sapphires were greatly entertained by the whole thing.

"Do you need help?" Ghia'ta chuckled when Kilowog glued the eyelash to his thumb, again.

"You know how to put these on?" Kilowog asked, shock evident on his face.

"Do you honestly thing these," Ghia'ta pointed to her violet glittery eyelashes, "Are real?"

"good point" Kilowog relinquished the sticky mess to the more experienced lantern, who applied it to the mechanical eye with surgical precision

"Kilowog, I glued an eye on my eye!" Hal yelled over resulting in the party going into Razer's room and to a glue and googly eye covered Hal.

"Don't laugh, someone put pressurized air in the glue so when I opened it…" Hal raised his arms to show "This happened."' Even Hal's prank partner was doing his best to avoid bursting out laughing.

"Sounds like another Razer/Aya prank," Kilowog chuckled looking at the green lantern glue monster.

"Just get these eyes on the wall."

The two started to be so preoccupied with gluing, ungluing themselves and putting eyes on the wall, that they failed to notice the self-appointed prank masters coming up behind the glue mess with two boxes of glitter.

"STAR SHOWER!" Razer yelled as the two liberally dumped the red and green sparkles all over their teammates.

"Gaf, glitter doesn't taste good" Hal and Kilowog spat giving the pair ample time to make their escape.

"You can't beat the best," Aya informed them, shutting her and Razer in the engine room

"You two need to step up your game, you're getting creamed," Aga'po chuckled seeing the state of the two green lanterns.

"Why are they so good?" Kilowog complained, doing his best to get the sparkles off and failing epically.


	5. Guardians

_Sorry this chapter took so long I have been literally down the river without a paddle this past week on a trip with some of my friends, well enough of me talking, read away._

_On Oa_

"Green Lantern 2814? What are you wearing?" Sayd asked, looking at the glittery lanterns.

"Aya thought of the lovely idea of starting a prank war, to relieve the stress," Hal smiled, trying not to get in trouble.

"Interesting. What is a prank war exactly?" The Guardian asked with curious eyes.

"It is when two parties, often groups of people, play jokes on each other for a laugh," Kilowog told her, smiling like it was all in good fun.

"The groups are often divided by gender, age, family or romantic ties," Aya continued, looking up from the list she and Razer were working on.

"Thank you. Well, have fun." As soon as Sayd ended the transmission, she searched for all the guardian girls to tell them of the idea the Interceptor crew gave her. After that she went to find Ganthet so she could start the war.

"Ganthet, would you care for some refreshments?" Sayd asked handing him a cup while drinking out of one herself.

"Thank you, I am quite parched. Tell me, Sayd, what do you think is going to happen with…what the?" As soon as the other guardian pulled on the straw, bright green juice splattered on his robe.

"I'm sorry, but I just hung up on the Interceptor crew, and to relive stress, they are having a 'prank war'. I thought it would be fun," Sayd apologized, handing him a napkin.

"Sounds fun, are we allowed to be in groups?" Before Sayd could answer, they were called into the meeting room, and as soon as the guys sat down, a very embarrassing noise went up.

"As I'm sure you have all noticed by now, the girls wish to have a prank war," Appa scowled, removing the offending noise maker from his chair "and they say that the teams are boys vs girls." Ganthet looked disappointedly at Sayd who was chatting with Scar.

"Why boys vs girls? Why not pairs?" Ganthet piped up. Some of the guys mumbled among themselves.

"Because when I talked to Aya she said the groups are defined by, gender, age, family or romantic ties. We are all about the same age, and in the same gene poll, and I believe no one is dating anyone else" Sayd looked at Ganthet for the last one as Scar did for Appa.

"Fair enough. When are we going to start?"

The girls who were next to or near a guy took a step away as glitter poured down on the blue heads of the males.

"Now" Scar smiled, high fiving Sayd.

"Next time, could you give us a warning?" Appa asked, trying to get the pink glitter out of his hair.

"The whoopee cushions were the warnings," Sayd pointed out. The rest of the meeting went by with both sides scheming before actually doing real business.

"Sayd, wait up," Scar waved Sayd down in front of the girls' rooms.

"What is it? I was just going to get the materials for one of the pranks."

"When you're done go to my room," Scar scampered off to get the materials for the mystery prank leaving Sayd to get the red syrup, coffee beans, six left shoe's and deliver them to Pazu, Lianna, Ranakar, and Valorex.

"Aren't you going to help?" Lianna asked, looking up from the pile of shoes

"Scar wants me for something" the four girls shared a smile before going to work on the prank

"Do you know something I don't?" Sayd asked suspiciously, looking from smiling face to smiling face. Before any of them could answer, an impatient Scar wisped the startled guardian to her room.

_With the boys_

"Does anyone know a good prank?" Broome asked, looking at his brothers, each one more confused as the last.

"What about putting plastic wrap over their doors?" Dawlakispokpok asked after a few moments

"Ok, Dawl, and we can put fake bugs on it, it'll freak them out," Hando said excitedly. Soon, all the guys, except for Appa and Ganthet who were talking to each other, started to get excited on whatever prank they were talking about.

"What do you think the girls are planning?" Appa whispered over.

"I don't know, but if the previous jokes are any indication, we're in trouble" Ganthet whispered back, shaking off some glitter.

"Yes," Appa agreed. The two watched the other four chat among themselves for a few seconds before Basilus interrupted.

"Ok so we need to ask Guy for some fake spider webs, fake bugs, and real jello," he listed off.

"Why do we need jello?" Appa interrupted, obviously not paying attention to that part when they mentioned the use of the jelled substance.

"We put it on the outside of the doors so after they're done getting the spider webs off they step in it." Appa shook his head in a manner that said 'why did I even ask?'.

"I'll give the list to Guy" Ganthet offered, though truthfully, he couldn't keep up with the conversation among other interests.

"I'll join you." Actually, both of the guys wanted to bump into Sayd and Scar, but after walking around the bedrooms for a few minutes they gave up and went to find Guy Gardner so he could get the things they needed.

"Green lantern Guy Gardner" Appa started, making the lantern jump up in the air a few feet, not to mention getting a construct mallet to his head courtesy of his teacher.

"We wish for you to bring us these materials, make haste." Guy nodded wordlessly as Ganthet handed over the list. At first he was confused but left to gather them anyways.

"How long do you think it'll take?" Appa whispered when Guy was out of sight

"Hard to tell, Guy is normally slow but his curiosity for why we want them might make his trip faster," Ganthet whispered back, also looking to where Guy was.

"Want to get some thing to eat?"

"Might as well." The two guardians looked to the small crowed that has gathered "Tell Guy we will be in the eating hall when he returns."


End file.
